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y_c_reverse in yaoi_challenge

Needs (Ouran High School Host Club; Mori/Kyouya)

Title: Needs
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
Pairing: Mori/Kyouya
Author: Hush Now
Recipient: The Instigator
Rating: PG
Summary: There are things Mori needs that Honey can't give him. And there are things Kyouya needs that only Mori understands. Four scenes; four revelations.


one;

Mori-senpai is a protector: this everyone knows. One only needs to see how he protects Honey-senpai from the world, from his family and – the most difficult task of all – from himself to see that. His loyal, starry-eyed fans liken him to a samurai to their butterfly; a knight in shining armour to their damsel in distress; their silent Prince Charming to their sleeping Princess.

Mori-senpai needs to be protected: this Kyouya knows. Mori-senpai needs to be protected from himself.

Mori-senpai takes the burden of the Morinozuka family (“It’s only right,” Kyouya could almost hear him murmur, “because I am the heir, the oldest son”) and the Host Club (“I am the oldest, it’s my responsibility”) upon himself. He takes all the unwanted responsibilities of the Haninozuka family up upon his own shoulders as easily as he picks up Honey-senpai’s briefcase. Almost unconsciously, Mori-senpai protects everyone by taking all of their burdens.

And that is why, Kyouya thinks, sharp eyes hidden behind his glasses as he watches Mori, Mori-senpai needs to be protected.

Mori-senpai has surprisingly thin shoulders for one of his stature, Kyouya observes, wondering almost detachedly if – or even when – those slender shoulders will break under the weight of everything Mori-senpai chooses to place upon them.

Kyouya protects Mori-senpai by protecting everyone else in the Host Club. He takes care of Tamaki by managing the finances and the mundane semantics of all those fantasies and schemes his best friend has. Tamaki can dream this way, dream and remain as himself, unhindered by life’s cruel realities. This way, Hikaru and Kaoru have a chance to see the ‘outside world,’ and Haruhi can experience the joys of the world outside her studies and books. This way, Honey-senpai can remain ‘Honey-senpai’ instead of the Haninozuka heir, letting Mori-senpai take care of and be needed by him.

(If one asks, Kyouya say that, of course, those are the only reasons why he protects Tamaki. But, as surely as the sun rises during dawn, he will be lying.)

Kyouya protects Haruhi by shielding her against those awful and thoughtless remarks made by some of Ouran’s students with his influence and subtle threats. His glasses are good tools for this. He looks after the twins by keeping silent about how he could tell them apart after the first month of their joining the Host Club, choosing to let Haruhi be the ‘first’ – he will not, he cannot, draw them out of their enclosed world the way only Haruhi can. Kyouya takes care of Honey-senpai by reducing his sugar intake in the Club, for diabetes and cavities are very real dangers. He knows that Mori-senpai will not be able to do this, thus he takes over the job.

(Of course, all these measures benefit him on certain levels – this is only to be expected).

Kyouya does all this so Mori-senpai doesn’t have to; so he doesn’t have the extra weight of the Host Club’s burdens to carry on those too-slender shoulders.

***

two;

To most of the school and the majority of all who has made his acquaintance, Ohtori Kyouya is the textbook perfect image of the ideal (third) son: well-bred, talented, and obedient to his parents’ wishes. To Haruhi, Hikaru and Kaoru, he is ‘the Shadow King,’ the senpai with the glinting glasses and the scary smile. To Tamaki, Kyouya is his protector, his best friend, the ‘okaa-san’ to his ‘otou-san.’ To Honey-senpai, he is the very capable kouhai who, like him and Mori, is an audience to the comedy of errors that is Tamaki, Haruhi and the twins.

Kyouya, Mori sees, has one great secret wish, one buried so deeply inside himself that only one with eyes and a heart like Mori’s can see them. Not even Kyouya himself knows of this wish – the most insightful and observant of people are blind to their own wants and faults and hopes. This Mori knows very well, for he is the same.

Kyouya, Mori knows, wants to be seen as himself.

Kyouya has many, many masks, so many that Mori is sure that not even the boy himself knows how many there are. Mori can only name a few - the Shadow King, the Dutiful Son, the Tolerant Best Friend, the Obedient Brother, the Demon Lord, the Brilliant but Modest Student (or son), the Young Master, and the Money-Grubber – but he recognises all of them. They are not Kyouya’s true face.

Each and every one of those masks has a specific use and a specific situation in which to be used. Even if Kyouya is thrown into a new situation, it takes a mere few seconds (or minutes, if one is lucky) before a new mask is crafted and Kyouya is hiding his true self behind it.

Kyouya, Mori thinks, uses masks so much that his real face has probably paled to translucence from the lack of sunlight.

Kyouya is a contradictory boy (not man; none of them are men yet) with a contradictory wish: he fears being seen as who he really is, but, at the same time, he desperately wants someone to strip away all of his many masks and just see his true self.

In that way, Mori supposes, he’s a little like the twins.

Mori has always thought masks to be rather ridiculous things, what with their painted (or carved out) smiles and black, hole-like eyes. The skin of a mask is too smooth, too cool, too perfect to be anything remotely resembling a human face; too frozen with its false smile and insincere eyes. Mori does not respect masks, and chooses to disregard them entirely.

Mori sees who Kyouya really is.

He sees Kyouya as a boy with a frozen half-smile because he has almost (not yet) forgotten how to truly smile. He sees a boy trying to be a man to fulfil his father’s expectations, to exceed those same expectations. He sees a boy who loves his best friend but will never voice that love, because he believes emotions to be weak. He sees an inherently selfish child who, despite his own logic and words, helps and protects the ones he cares about behind his Shadow King façade, never seeking recognition for all that he has done for them.

Mori sees all of these. He sees the flaws and insecurities and fears reflected in the slightest shifts of Kyouya’s eyelids, the changes of light in those night-dark eyes, the smallest quickening of breath, the unconscious movements that all humans, no matter how controlled or how disciplined, make. Mori is an accomplished kendoist, after all.

And, because of what he sees, he treats Kyouya not as ‘the third son of the Ohtori family’, not as ‘the Shadow King’, not as a typical kouhai in need of guidance; definitely not as the ‘mother’ of the dysfunctional little family that calls itself the Host Club.

Mori treats Kyouya as a boy who has stepped out of the path he has been pushed into since he was born; a boy who is searching for his own road, who is confused and lost and determined all at once; a boy who is almost a man, but not quite there yet.

Mori treats Kyouya like an equal.

***

three;

Kyouya knows that Mori-senpai sees who he really is, and he is afraid.

To hide himself from others is only half the reason he wears his masks. The other half of the reason is that Kyouya despises his true self, despises that tiny part of it that is insecure and afraid and sometimes just wants a shelter from the rapidly-enclosing world. He is scared of so many things, sometimes, so afraid that his knees go weak and he has to close his eyes to shut out the world and its expectations of him. He fears not being named as heir no matter how hard he works; he’s afraid that one day, the Host Club will have to dissipate and there will be no place where he doesn’t have to hide any more. His greatest fear is that one day Tamaki and Mori-senpai and everyone will leave him behind, chasing after great things, or he might be too caught up in his family’s politics that he leaves them behind, so far away that when he turns back, he can’t see his friends any more.

Kyouya wears his masks to prevent people from seeing his true face because they might find out this cursed weakness of his.

No Ohtori should have any weakness. This is law.

Mori-senpai sees his one weakness, Kyouya knows. Mori-senpai has told him this, once, when the Club is over and Honey-senpai is waiting for him at the door:

“We will never leave you completely alone, Kyouya. Not even if you want us to.”

Kyouya doesn’t know how Mori-senpai can see through his masks so easily. He has spent most of his life crafting these masks, perfecting them to an art form, so much that they seem like his true face no matter how many glances or stares you take.

Not even Tamaki can see these fears of his. Tamaki sees the calculating side of his true self. He sees his strengths and ambitions and goals and dreams and wishes – Tamaki has great insight about these things.

But Tamaki is blind to most people’s weaknesses. He likes to pretend that his friends, his loved ones, have no weaknesses. Tamaki is blind to Kyouya’s faults.

Mori isn’t.

And Mori is here, now, standing just three steps away from Kyouya, hands shoved inside his pockets. He looks uncharacteristically nervous, and Kyouya can almost swear that he is biting his lower lip as he gaze straight into Kyouya’s eyes.

Honey-senpai is nowhere in sight, and the Host Club is not due to start for another twenty minutes. (Kyouya is always the first to arrive to prepare all that they need to serve their honoured customers).

He opens his mouth to ask if there’s anything he can help Mori-senpai with, or if is he looking for Honey-senpai or… Kyouya’s train of thought screeches into a halt when he finds that Mori-senpai is not three steps away any more – he is right in front of Kyouya, dark eyes inscrutable. This is the only warning.

Then there are two fingers under his chin, tilting his head up and Kyouya barely manages to close his mouth when he feels lips descending on his own, pressing gently. His eyes widen.

Mori-senpai is kissing me, Kyouya thinks, stating the obvious. The kiss is everything and nothing like what Kyouya has always expected kisses to be like. For one, he never thought he would have to tilt his head upwards when kissing. For another, he has never thought that he would be kissing Mori-senpai, but he finds that he doesn’t mind. Quite the contrary, in fact.

Kyouya’s eyes slide close as Mori-senpai nibbles on his lower lip. He opens his mouth, and there is a tongue, Mori-senpai’s tongue, licking at the bit lip before entering his mouth, gently. There is a hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly as if to comfort him. The fingers under his chin slides downwards until they rest on his other shoulder. There is enough pressure to keep him in place, but not enough to hurt.

Mori-senpai’s lips are slightly dry and chapped, and his hands feel very warm through the cloth of Kyouya’s uniform. Kyouya finds himself being held against Mori-senpai’s chest, a hand migrating to his hair to stroke it gently.

Strangely enough, Kyouya has no urge to pull away.

Perhaps… perhaps it is because he has seen Mori-senpai’s weakness and Mori-senpai has seen his and they have helped each other. Perhaps it is a certain camaraderie they share as their best friends’ protectors. Perhaps it is the vague sort of attraction he has always felt towards the older boy (not man, not yet). Perhaps it is all of these and something that Kyouya is still unable to name.

For once in his life, Kyouya decides that reason and logic don’t matter in this moment, and kisses Mori back.

four;

Mori kisses Kyouya because they understand each other in ways that not even their best friends can.

They give each other what is needed.

End

Comments

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(Anonymous)

Thank you so much! ♥
Very, very insightful readings of these two characters (my favorites, as it turns out). Each character's analysis of the other is shrewd, but it's also kind, and caring, and I think the ending is perfectly in tune with the two of them.

(Anonymous)

Thank you! And yes, Kyouya is the favourite, while Mori is definitely in one of my top five, so I'm reallu happy that I got them down fine. ^^
Kyouya, Mori thinks, uses masks so much that his real face has probably paled to translucence from the lack of sunlight.

Wow. Great stuff. :)

(Anonymous)

Thank you! That's one of my favourite lines as well. ♥

(Anonymous)

Oh, squee! I adore this. You've peeled Kyouya like an onion, uncovering layer inside layer of his complex character. And your portrait of Mori is utterly marvelous, revealing what drives the "strong, silent" host and making it clear he's more than a monolith. Plus? Capsule appearances by the others, with deep understanding of how they impact these two.

Lovely, lovely story, and I couldn't be more pleased.

A. Nonymous

(Anonymous)

It isn't an Ouran fic unless everyone at least gets a cameo, because they are just so... connected to each other. A dysfunctional family, really. And I'm glad that you like the fic and my portrayal of Mori and Kyouya. I was a bit nervous there. xD

Thank you so much for the prompt! It was really fun to work with.
that was wonderful! Mori and Kyouya are great together.
They are, aren't they? ^^

Thank you for commenting! ♥
Nicely done! I'm so glad that you wrote this, I happen to adore the idea of this pairing. ^_^ You made it seem so real! <3
Mori/Kyouya is my backup OTP, because I know Tamaki/Haruhi is going to happen sooner or later, which means Tamaki/Kyouya has a very small chance of surviving. And I happen to really, really like Mori. So. xD

Thank you! I'm glad it worked! ♥
Yarharhar, I love Mori/Kyouya. ♥

Great job this!
Thank you! ♥
Wow. That was just, wow. ♥ Fantastic, seriously.
Thank you so much! ♥
dood. I absolutely LOVE this. It was very nicely written, and organized as well... I like how you did the transition from Kyouya's thoughts to Mori's thoughts, and back again. Hope to read more from ya! :)
Thank you! I'm glad that the transitions work well. ♥

Psst. Here's a link to all of my other fics. I have another Mori/Kyouya there as well. ^^
I must admit, when I first saw the pairing, my mind went WTF. I don't think I've ever seen this pairing before, I'd certainly never thought about it.

But you wrote it so well, and the use of both perspectives was really nice, and I love how you mentionned that Kyouya never expected to kiss someone taller than him and... I really enjoyed it!
Mori/Kyouya is a very rare pairing, actually. As far as I know, there are five fics written for it, two of it by me. That number includes this one. None of the fics manage to go beyond a kiss. It is very sad. xD

Thank you! And well, my Kyouya never thought that he will end up with another male that is not Tamaki. Thus that detail. ^^

Thank you! ♥
This was wonderfully done :D
I never really thought of seeing Mori and Kyouya together :O
I enjoyed reading this.
Thank you! ♥
This was brilliant. I was highly doubtful due to the pairing, but after reading it, very impressed.
There are five fics for Mori/Kyouya that I know of, and two of them are mine. Including this one. The fandom is sadly very tiny.

Thank you! I'm glad that you enjoyed it despite your doubts. ♥
I really loved the ambviant tone through out this, it was really peaceful and insightful to read.
Thank you! ♥
So great, I nearly cried. Kyouya/Mori are my favorite OTP and you really brought it to life. Keep up the fantastic work.
-gasps- Another Mori/Kyouya fan! That's really... rare. -hugs you- Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this! ♥

Tamaki/Kyouya is still my OTP of all OTPs, though.
This was excellent! To be honest, I wasn't quote sure about Kyouya/Mori, but, after reading this, you've put the pair into a whole new light for me. I kind of always knew Mori truly knows Kyouya for who he is, but you've seriously made Kyouya/Mori my back-up OTP. [I'm obsessed with Kyouya/Tamaki.]

I actually started tearing up towards the end of because, on GJ, I RP Kyouya and he's having a lot of trouble with Tamaki because he knows he cares deeply for her. Mori's there to help him through it, though.

It was beautifully written and I look forward to reading more fanfics of yours!
Tamaki/Kyouya is my OTP of all OTPs too, actually. I just like Mori/Kyouya a lot more than other pairings, even though it is a bitch to write. xDDDD

Thank you! ♥

Psst. My other fics are over here. I have no shame!
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